Excerpt From My Journal

November 9th:

It’s conversations like the one I had wih him that night that I wish I could have recorded permanently in my brain to play back when I’m feeling sad or stressed or when I just want to appreciate the good things in my life. I have experienced a lot of hardships, but the greatest blessing God has given me is the opportunity to meet and talk to and grow close with the people that I have. Sometimes I wonder why we even try to find love and happiness and friendship because there is so much heartache and tragedy and betrayal in the world. It often seems like we are fighting a war we have already lost. But I am learning that it is worth all of the heartache I will inevitably face just to have certain beautiful people in my life for even the shortest amount of time. So I don’t ask God to prevent me from being hurt or to make the pain go away when it has already arrived. I pray that God will allow me to love this person with all of my heart or at least as much as I can for as long as I can.